When you (the teacher) just don’t match up with them (the class)… especially them (youth)!
Posted by joespencer on January 30, 2007
I’d like to follow up on the question of teaching 16-17 year-olds (perhaps since that’s what I do), but you can all “apply” this post and the following comments to your everyday teaching callings. Matt W. said:
“I am only 30, but feel completely out of touch with the Youth. Maybe it’s because I didn’t grow up in the church and I haven’t had TV or bought a new CD in 7 years… I have definitely resolved that I want to be siginificant and not entertaining. I can not entertain the youth better than they can entertain themselves.”
I’m very sympathetic to Matt’s sentiment here (last summer I had to face the scorn of a dozen teachers and priests when I packed Camus’ The Stranger and the Oresteia on our four-day hike; which is not to mention that whenever I ask a “But what is x?” question in priests quorum, at least one student shoots back with “What is Joe?”–a phrase that I’ve recently found is my name in most of the priests’ cell phone directories!).
So what does one do when we just don’t match up personality-wise with the class we’re assigned to teach (as I mention above, this might take many other shapes than just “I’ve got to be a dork to these kids”)?
Now, at the risk of sounding like a know-it-all, I think I’ve got some insights into this (and I’d very much like to hear others’ thoughts as well). My credentials: I, like Matt, do not own a TV; I have only bought classical CD’s over the past seven years; I have a personal library of two thousand books in my living room; I cannot tell a Mustang from a Pontiac; I never go to the movies; I write poetry; and the young men–I’m still not sure I believe this, but it is nonetheless true–worship me. This is still a paradox to me, but I’ve begun to see what is at work in it, so let me share a few thoughts and ask others to supersede or to apply them.
I think the most important thing I’ve figured out with working with youth is this: they believe that all adults disregard their intelligence, their interest, and (above all) their questions. Three things I do to counter their blanket belief: if it wouldn’t be intellectually stimulating for me, I won’t teach it; I approach (both in presentation and in subject matter) the lesson as if these kids are absolutely enthralled by anything and everything in the scriptures (which sometimes requires an effort on my part to convince them of that during class); and I constantly encourage youth to ask questions, while I answer every question that is asked with as much seriousness and sincerity as possible (even if the question was neither serious nor sincere). In the end, I think these three things are the only indispensables: they are of absolute necessity, and I think they are often enough. If I could summarize all three in one: I teach the youth at the level I would like to be taught, and they come soaring up (down?) to that level to engage me, and they greatly appreciate it if for no other reason than that they are usually treated as “dumb, uninterested, unthinking teenagers” (whether derogatorily or not).
I have other answers too, but I think I’ll leave things at this for now. I really think this does a lot. I’ve got a number of “success stories” I can tell. But perhaps more telling is that I have no “failure stories” yet (my experience entails perhaps 250-300 youth between YM and seminary–both early morning and release time–situations).
Thoughts (besides the obvious one: Joe is a know-it-all)?
January 30, 2007 at 6:34 pm
I think you are on to something. I say this both from my own experience as a youth, and also from my experience as a teacher.
I always felt the adults patronized us and didn’t credit us with any intelligence whatsoever. And this wasn’t just me the budding intellectual thinking this; all my friends felt the same way.
Because I remember how I felt, applying the golden rule, I try never to talk down to the youth, but to engage them as peers.
January 30, 2007 at 6:58 pm
My credentials: I like The Killers, use Napster, play Xbox, don’t know Bach from Beethoven, wear shorts whenever possible, and prefer to be called by my first name. Still, the youth do not come flocking to me.
I taught one semester of early morning seminary (I was subbing for a teacher on sabbatical) and about 1.5 years of youth Sunday School (ages 12-18 in one room). I was a great teacher for about 10% of the students, okay for about 50%, and terrible for about 40%. Overall grade: C-.
Here’s how I did implementing your suggestions:
1) Intellectually stimulating for me. I give myself an ‘A’ on this point.
2) Approach the lesson as if these kids are absolutely enthralled. ) My grade: A- or B+.
3) Encourage youth to ask questions. Here’s where I think I failed—my grade: F.
The reason I think I failed is that I did not encourage the youth to ask their questions, but to ask the questions that I wanted them to ask. As I think about it, I was being pretty selfish as a teacher, and along with that I was also doubting that the kids could come up with something worth discussing. (I’m thinking about this in retrospect, mind you, and I am also writing in absolute terms.)
January 30, 2007 at 8:18 pm
I agree with this approach of treating youth as adults, and responding sincerely and seriously. I’d like some specific stories to help think about how to put this into practice.
January 30, 2007 at 8:29 pm
I agree that taking the students seriously is a big part of your success. I bet another big key is that you are a confident teacher who they believe really knows what he is talking about. It sounds like the kids in your class have a story around you that makes sense to them–a total nerd, totally smart, who can actually make some sense of the scriptures even if it is a bit over their heads sometimes.
If instead you began class by apologizing that you don’t have anything in common with them (and you say it in a way that suggests you really see this as a failing) then I suspect it wouldn’t work as well.
January 30, 2007 at 8:46 pm
One quick story before I sign off for the night, and one that specifically relates to Brian’s “F.”
I inherited the teachers quorum from hell. Or so everyone in the ward told me just after I was called (when it was “safe” to tell me). Since I didn’t really know any of the kids (we’d only been in the ward three or four months, and I had thus far been teaching in the EQ), I began with 1 and 2 above, and it went very well as an introduction to my teaching style. After two lessons, the kids began to feel comfortable enough with me to ask questions, or really, to see if I would take their questions seriously. And things were going quite nicely.
Then one of the teachers came back from a vacation (he hadn’t been in any of my classes yet), and I met him for the first time in class as he was being incredibly disruptive. I usually ignore disruption and wait for the right timing, and so I was doing this until we got to a point in the lesson where we were discussing the equivalence of the concepts of slave and servant in Hebrew and Greek, and then this new (or rather, new to me) student blurts out with that “I dare you to teach me” attitude any teacher of youth has seen: “I have a question. Are we supposed to be slaves to our parents?” He said it with such a sneer that I was a bit taken aback, but I took his question as if it were the most serious one ever to be asked. I answered basically that while one of the ten commandments seems to suggest that we are “something like” slaves or servants to our parents, I have a hard time with seeing it that way. Then I told him that I simply didn’t know enough to answer his question, but that I would take some time to study during the week and come back with an answer the next week.
The look on his face! He just about cried right there, but he didn’t, and he paid careful and close attention through the rest of the lesson. I spent several hours (I don’t remember now how many, but I remember the process, and it must have taken me a while) during that week going through Exodus 20, rethinking the meaning of the structure of the passage, and rethinking its connections with other passages in the scriptures. Just after sacrament meeting the following Sunday, I grabbed him and asked if we could talk about his question for a couple of minutes before he went to Sunday School (I don’t think he was planning on going to Sunday School anyway). We sat down in the empty chapel and began to go through Exodus. The Spirit was suddenly poured out in great abundance, and we talked about the meaning of Exodus 20 for about twenty minutes, and then he began to tell me why he asked the question. As I probably should have guessed, it had come out of some major problems at home, problems he couldn’t really talk to anyone about. He cried, and we talked for most of Sunday School (I did let him go so he could attend some of class!).
That young man loved me from that moment, and began to be one of the best students (though most members of the ward still thought of him as a sort of Church dropout). His family has since moved from our ward, suffered an ugly divorce, and gone completely inactive… except for that boy. He remains strong and is preparing for a mission (he is 17 now).
I should probably note that the point of the story is not to get this published in the Ensign, but to point out that what solved the biggest problem in the teachers quorum was a complete willingness to answer the question that problem put forward, though he seemed not to be sincere in any way at all. I’ve come across almost identical situations perhaps a dozen times in my short experience with youth, and it always seems to have the same effect. If they ask, I think we must answer.
January 30, 2007 at 9:06 pm
Be an example of what you teach and you will be respected.
So the story goes: A woman took her wayward son to the priest and asked him to talk to him. “He eats too much sugar,” she said. The priest thought a moment and asked her to come back with her son in a week. A week passed, and the woman brought her son again to the priest. This time, the priest looked squarely at the boy and said “Stop eating sugar!” The boy agreed without an argument. The woman, very surprised, ask why the priest hadn’t simply done that the week earlier. Said the priest: “Because I was still eating sugar last week.”
This may be a repeat for some, but it bears repeating. If you love the gospel, it will show in everything you do. If the principles have come to bear in your life, you will have greater credibility and people will actually listen to what you have to say.
Sadly, some people will “talk God” because they think that’s what you want to hear, but that’s another story.
Joe, you’re a serious guy. You’re serious about the gospel and about each and every one of those young men. They love and respect you because you loved and respected them first.
January 31, 2007 at 9:35 am
Ok, let me elaborate a bit, Joe, as I have learned some more since I posted this point.
First, let me say this: I open my class up every week for questions, and not many ask questions. I think this has more to do with the kids not wanting to open up in front of each other than me, but I do always allow questions, and questions on any topic, even if it is totally off topic. I try to answer any and every question as seriously as possible.
Second, I try to always set my lesson up to be interesting and stimulating to myself, but also try to keep it relevant to the kids in my class. This last week, for example, our class was on how to argue effectively with parents. It was my most successful lesson yet with this group, but still the class wants to talk to each other, ignore me, talk over me, be disruptive, etc. I am a piss poor disciplinarian, as I have mixed feelings on how effective I can be as a disciplinarian in this situation. (Removing the kid from the class in not an option, etc, etc.)
Third, This is hard for me, I have a hard time approaching the lesson as if the kids are enthralled, because when I get there, the kids are not enthralled.
ok, one last thing. In my class, I have a large mix of clinically diagnosed kids. I have a schizophrnic youth, a number of bi-polar kids (Which seems to be the new catch all that ADHD was when I was in high school), a kid who was raped a few years ago, a kid who was abused as a child, a girl who’s mother just died, and most of them are stereotyping themselves as either Goth, EMO, etc, while the Minority are labeled with that most odious of all appellations among teens, what we used to call goody-two-shoes.
Anyway, in some ways, this class for me, is more important than any other calling I have ever had, so that is why I keep focusing on it.
I guess my big question is how to maintain order in the classroom.
This week, I am planning on following up on arguing effectively with parents by going over how to effectively sell an idea, covering the implications of the greek for sin and repentance, what respect means, what it means to be “born again”, and what the ordinance of Mikvah tells us about Baptism. I then hope to close out with an analysis of the story of the Woman at the Well, and why it is so important to us. I am also changing class rooms, as mine is too small, so am going to tie that into how we as a class have a new beginning and a rebirth. As you can see, I am still in the brainstorming phase for this lesson…. No structure as of yet.
February 3, 2007 at 5:09 pm
One thing that I also want to point out in Joe’s story is something so powerful. When Joe first got that calling, his initial feedback from other memebers was that this was the priest class from hell. Knowing Joe on a personal level, that does not discourage Joe, that only invites him into disproving that is true about the class. Instead of thinking that he is “in for it” he came into the class room with respect and love. No bias opinion was in his head. His thoughts were centered on sharing his love for the gospel. I am not trying to put Joe above anyone one, I just want to point out how powerful it is not having any bias towards anyone else. If we think a class to be the class from hell, then truly it will be the class from hell. We are taught “as a man thinketh so is he” that holds true for us, and maybe even we could think of it a little bit differantly “as a man thinketh of others, so are they”. Our thoughts effect our behavior when we see youth as on the same level as us then we treat them that way and our concern for their eternal welfare grows. Youth can sense respect and concern, just as we did when we were young. When someone respects you and sees the highest potentional in you then for some reason you grow beyond measure.
February 3, 2007 at 9:59 pm
Matt W. Sounds like a tough bunch. When things aren’t going as well as you’d like it may be helpful to remember that you are the one the Lord called to teach this class at this time.
I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and questions with the rest of us. My view is that it is great that you aren’t satisfied with the class going the way it is–that you are looking so hard for ways to make it go much better. It would be much easier for you to say “that is just how these kids are.”
I imagine that over time the fact that your kids see your desire to really teach them will make a big impact on them. Of course, at the end of the day, though you can have a huge influence, the ultimate decision for how the students in your class act is theirs. Nothing you do could guarantee that the class would go well.
None of what I’ve said is very original; nevertheless, hopefully it is helpful re-hearing.
February 4, 2007 at 7:14 am
Matt,
Let us know how today goes. I imagine there are some possibilities in the rebirth of the class idea.
February 7, 2007 at 8:54 pm
One thing to illustrate my earlier comments, again I am not saying this to say I have master something. I am just sharing what I have found to be very beneficial in teaching.
My wife and I have been called to the nursery recently. (Nursury is like a whole other realm) Incase there are some who have never been. When we first got the calling we were told of some of the kids. It is easy to relate to children this age, they still druel and so do I. They like to scream randomly, I think that to be a very relaxing past time. They love to play with toys. And I find nothing better than rolling a toy car all around the house.
Anyways, we were told of some children that have been kind of hard to keep in the nursery without them crying and wanting their mothers or fathers. One girl in particular was a girl who’s mother is from Peru and father is from Logan. She would not last more than 5-10 minutes before her mother would have to come back. We don’t teach much in nursery, but my wife and I took this as an oppurtunity. The first sunday we were not hesitant for that girl. We were actually excited for her. When she first came in, we asked her if she could help us do a puzzle. My wife, bieng the wonderful woman that she is, took her aside and one on one did puzzles with her. We have since found that when she comes in she is happy to be there. We always sit down with her for the first couple of minutes and do a puzzle, but we have found that she is very helpful to other kids in the class. Her mother is very appreciative becuase she can actually sit through class.
We as teachers though of her not as a bother, we did not hesitate her coming. We looked forward to it. She knows that she is loved and welcomed and that she is not a bother to us. She can only speak a little, but she can tell that we care for her and I think in return she has changed her behaviour.
We are far from mastering this, my wife is light years ahead of me. I feel it is an important priciple to not think of people in a certian way before we interact with them, If Ammon and his brethern thought of the lamanites as others did, do you think they would have gone? They thought of them as children of God and they loved them. Miracles were wrought and lives were changed because they had no bias in their heart and they did all and anything they could for the lamanites.
February 8, 2007 at 11:13 am
Thanks, Jeff. That story is a beautiful parable for the 16-17 youth SS class.
February 9, 2007 at 12:39 pm
Joe Jeff and Matthre, sorry for the late respomse, I hadn’t seen anyone reply to me. Last week went very well with the rebirth.
Since it’s been a bit late, I ‘ll give some positive things I learned and that happened.
1. Bigger Classrooms are better for me. People can sprawl out some, and when people talk amoungst themselves, it is less disruptive of the whole.
2. I took Joe’s advice, and so I took literally a question asked a few weeks ago in my class. A boy had asked “Why are people so retarded?” so I started the lesson out with the fall, and talked about the temptations of Christ and how the correlated to Adam and Eve. (I hadn’t got to it last week.) I then talked about how to overcome this problem via redemption, the atonement, and self-mastery, which led us into john 3 and being “born again.” We then talked about the wind-breath-spirt bit a bit. I concluded with a committment to the youth to “do truth” by expanded their effort to do just one thing better than they currently are doing it in the gospel core (read scriptures, personal prayer, 10 commandments.) I think it went really well and had much more positve participation than before.
I am absolutely at a loss for #6 and the calling of the apostles. I may focus on team work and the five dysfunctions of a team, but I don’t feel that is quite right yet…
February 9, 2007 at 7:47 pm
Matt W. That is so good to hear. My soul jump for joy reading your story. I am glad things went so well. That is a very interesting way of tying in “why people are so retarded” in with the fall of Adam and Eve. I imagine you kept that boys attention becuase he probably did not think you would actually explain in spiritual reference why we make mistakes. Very good story, thank you so much for sharing it.
February 9, 2007 at 9:52 pm
From my experience, your classroom (whether at church, school or home) must be irresistable if you’re to engage your students. We live in a “fast food” world. The possibilities are endless and most of them are delivered electronically (like this blog). Your students must crave what you offer. Knowing what this “carrot” is, is your job, Teacher. Every classroom’s carrot is different. Having taught students from 1-83 years old on subjects from gospel to painting I know that if you have something they crave, they’ll come. Watch “Field of Dreams.”
Object Lessons are my saving grace. I actually went to a Ricky Martin concert here, in Las Vegas, many years ago when I was a Sunday School teacher for the 12-16 year olds. I had only heard him sing on the radio and couldn’t hum a note or name any of his songs. But, after the concert (it was fabulous, by the way) in the classroom I stood on a chair and depicted Ricky doing his thing and asked the class, “What is all that about?” Ricky had struck a crucifix pose, dressed in white, and was elevated above the audience. I had the kids close their eyes and mentally envision the concert as I described it. They had a lot to say and this evolved into a fabulous object lesson.
Another time I took a candy bar and a ten dollar bill and related a story from a family home evening lesson when I offered both to my 3 yr. old–of course she chose the candy bar. The kids thought that was great and this, too, developed into an object lesson. Object lessons seem to be my tool for capturing the kids’ attention and helping pull the lesson through the class time. In the end the kids remember the message because of the object lesson. I once started class by doing push-ups and jumping jacks and then gave a lesson on the Atonement, telling them I had to warm up for one of the most important lessons I would ever teach them. They were absolutely silent as they waited to hear what I would say.
I let my hair down, don’t worry too much about being stupid. I must admit I have to really think sometimes to come up with a relavant object lesson that the kids will wake up to. But it always works. I’ve had every youth in my ward in my Sunday School class together AT ONCE–that’s 12-18, and they’ve ALL listened. I own every book on object lessons I’ve been able to find. Neil Decker has written some great ones: Decker Book This technique works for adults, too, since we’re just as mentally distracted as the kids, even if we don’t talk or have ants in our pants.
I suggest that one of the pure and precious parts of the Bible taken out read something like this: Blessed are the teachers of teenagers for they shall have eternal youth. :)
Truly it is a blessing to teach the youth.
February 10, 2007 at 7:30 am
To be honest, nhilton, I wonder if it isn’t your confidence that draws their attention more than it is the object lessons. I used object lessons when I first began to teach, and I found it difficult to keep attention. But I was so uncomfortable using them because of the way I personally engage the scriptures. And so it destroyed my confidence. But I never use them now, and so it is very easy to be confident in the classroom, and the kids are completely at attention. How important is confidence as a teacher?
At the same time, I’m not sure how comfortable I am with the word “confidence.” This is a good topic for discussion, one that might keep this thread alive: one and all, what is the place of confidence in teaching youth?